(In a lighter vein)

First it was the president of the United States of America who saw shoes flying towards him in Iraq. He ducked just in time to avoid being hit. When, he came up, he found another one heading for him. He responded with a quick reaction once again.

By displaying agility in ducking the shoes, Bush has proved one thing…that he could have been a good boxer though he could not be a good president! But, to this date, he must be finding solace in the fact that the shoes which made him their target were mere missiles though he had taken them for unidentified flying objects!

Then the Chinese premier got a taste of it in the USA. This week, it was the Indian home minister’s turn. Yesterday, it was an Indian Congress legislator who was at the receiving end. With that the shoegate has arrived in India. Chidambaram and Navin Jindal are now being referred to as “sole-mates!” What’s happening? Why is it raining shoes everywhere?

Suddenly, shoes have turned into a weapon where no weapons are allowed for security reasons. The credit for finding this creative use for shoes goes to the Iraqi television journalist who hurled his shoes at President George Bush in Iraq. So, Iraq is the mother of what is now being called the “shoegate!”

Do we have more shoes than we need in this world? Are people with extra shoes trying to discard their extra shoes by taking aim of those they hold in contempt and letting them go?

Will shoegate result in an increase in the sale of shoes? In Iraq, shop keepers selling shoes are said to have kept their shops open through the night to encourage people to buy more shoes and put it to good use for what they see as national cause after the Bush incident!

The Iraqi journalist got a sound thrashing at the hands of securitymen. At first they thought he was being punished for throwing his shoes at the visiting head of another country. Later, it turned out that they were venting their anger on him for missing his target!

In view of the increasing shoe-throwing incidents, some shoe manufacturers are studying the financial viability of producing shoes with aerodynamic designs which would glide smoothly through air and have better chances of hitting the target. All the shoes that have been thrown so far have missed their targets. Initially, everybody thought that they needed target practice before the event. But, now it is being widely agreed that it is mainly because of design fault as these are designed as footwear. If a shoe is to be used as a missile, it would have to be designed according to the dynamics of the requirement!

Bush was fortunate to get both the shoes. He can use them if they fit him. But, what about those who are getting only one of the pair? Where would they go to look for the other one? Besides, they would be in two minds as to whether they should keep the one they have received as a result of human providence in the fond hope of finding its pair or discard it in utter pessimism?

The Iraqi journalist became a hero overnight. Honours were bestowed on him. He was flooded with marriage proposals (nobody knew girls were so mad after shoes!). His “Popularity” level shot up so high that the Iraqis are still searching for an instrument to measure it! Nobody would have ever dreamed that shoes come with so many perquisites! And, to think that they are banished to the rock bottom of our body?! If shoes can bring so many rewards and honour, we should be carrying them on the top of our heads…with reverence!

Now, shoes have become a security threat. Security agencies are racking their brains to find a solution. Some security agencies say that since this problem is peculiar to journalists, they should be compelled to enter press conferences bare-feet! But, yesterday, an elderly teacher who flung a shoe at Navin Jindal in Haryana proved that teachers are also in the reckoning!

Another security expert advised politicians to carry a sufficient stock of shoes with them at all times so that they can hit back if they are attacked!

Some security agencies are trying to design a shoe shield to protect people prone to shoe-throwing!

Many security personnel squirm at the idea of having to deal with shoes of all the things.

All said and done, it is time to put shoes in their place. Shoes are footwear. Feet are where the shoes belong. Let us put them back there. If the shoes go any higher than that, they are sure to a nuisance to everyone!