When angry, count a hundred! - Instablogs
When angry, count a hundred!
Vincent Van Ross , New Delhi: Sep 21 2008
Made Popular Sep 21 2008
India :

By Vincent Van Ross

When angry, count a hundred!
People who are quick to anger repent at leisure. Anger is never a positive trait. In fact, anger gets us into sticky situations more often than not.

Once our anger subsides, we begin to wish we never said or did whatever we said or did! So, it is much better to keep our cool and show a little more patience.

Much of human anger is impulsive. Half the people seem to be in a hurry to get angry. Often, we get angry because we do not even wait for the other person to complete what he is saying. We must be more considerate towards our fellow beings.

Sometimes people deliberately stoke anger in us. They provoke us. If we are mature, we will see through the situation. We will not get provoked. An angry man’s actions and reactions are never sensible. We pawn our senses to the devil when we are angry.

Even when we are wronged unnecessarily, it pays to reason with the other person than react to what is being said. When we react or show anger, we create bitterness and bad blood. Often it results in ugly situations where it becomes a prestige issue as a result of our ego problems. Once we reach that stage, it becomes difficult for either party to apologise. And, it results in prolonged enmity.

I am not saying that we should never get angry or show anger. We should…if the situation demands that we show anger. We should…if our anger is justified. Sometimes anger helps subdue our opponent when he or she is wrong and solves a lot of problems. But, we must take care that such anger is not uncontrolled. We may show anger but we must maintain our cool inside. We should never lose sight of reason.
When angry, count a hundred!
When angry, count a hundred! This is a proverb. But, it works. Because, by the time we count a hundred, we begin to cool off and good sense begins to prevail on us. By that time, we forget what we were getting angry at.

But, don’t try of angering your child with the idea of helping him or her in learning how to count a hundred!

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1 Stars
Alphonse V
Allahabad, India
What if somebody really needles you?
1 Stars
Drink a glass of water?
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
You keep your cool, Alphonse!
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Ramesh,
Is that for a cooling effect?
1 Stars
Vijay
Kota, India
Vincent,lets remain cool and have a deep breath,whenever the situation is not according to our will and yes
”we must take care that such anger is not uncontrolled. We may show anger but we must maintain our cool inside. We should never lose sight of reason.”
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
All right, Vijay!
2 Stars
Well done Vincent, it is fabulously simple article that could help a lot of people like me. I always loose sight of reason when I get angry and I have gone to the limit of landing blows to the other, giving explanations to the cops at the end of it all. I am trying to change my approach towards life and your article will go a long way in helping me become a better person. Counting 100 is what I would do the next time around but what if the person on the other side takes advantage of that lapse and thrashes me :):):)...joking mate, thanks for this wonderful insight. Cheers!!
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Atul,
I can’t tell you how much your comments mean to me. If my article helps you to become a better person and change your approach towards life, I think that more than accomplishes the purpose of writing this piece.
This article is simple because I have learned these things the hard way. I am not a clinical psychologist. I am a practical person.
I was hot headed when I joined my job. By and by I learned how harmful it is to get angry. I pondered over it and devised my own ways of dealing with it.
2 Stars
Leena
Kolkata, India
Very useful tip Vincent. But it is quite difficult to implement, especially when the other side does everything to test your patience. Whenever I try to hold back my anger or any other negative emotion, I start experiencing breathlessness!
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Leena,
That’s okay. But, don’t you feel uncomfortable after you have offloaded your anger? Particularly, if the other party is not in the wrong?
2 Stars
Oscar
Oaxaca, Mexico
It is a tried and true technique except for when you are so pissed off you can’t even remember the words for the numbers to count:) In that case run..If Ican’t count I sprint down the street until I can’t breath anymore...Hard to be angry when you are literally gasping for breath and fearing a coronary.
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Oscar,
What I shared with all of you is how I dealt with my anger. It is one of the many ways that anger can be dealt with. But,that is not the only way you can deal with it. Everyone can device one’s own ways to deal with it.
2 Stars
Nithya N
Mumbai, India
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems..problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. However it is vital for every one of us to understand and control our anger.
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Nithya,
I agree with you completely. In fact, that is the spirit of my article.
2 Stars
Nithya N
Mumbai, India
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive manner is the healthiest way to express anger.
2 Stars
Oscar
Oaxaca, Mexico
very nice Nithya. I like the breakdown of the three approaches, but replacing anger with fear of coronary should maybe be a 4th:)
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Nithya,
There are very many ways to express anger. I will share with you a very unusual experiment I carried out with my colleagues.
I have always been very friendly with my colleagues who are junior to me. All of us are in first name terms. But, when they mess up something, I start addressing them as Sir and Madam. Initially, they were a little confused. But, over a period of time, they understood what I was trying to convey. And, now, when I address them as Sir and Madam, they instinctively know that there is something wrong and they start figuring out what went wrong and apply themselves to making amends.
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Oscar and Nithya,
Thanks very much contributing to this healthy discussion.
2 Stars
Nithya N
Mumbai, India
To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others. Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive, best way to deal with it!
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
You are right, Nithya!
2 Stars
Radhika
mumbai, India
Anger is the cause of many mishaps. Its repercussions both physical and mental are felt later on in life. As a personality trait, an angry person finds few friends because the tolerance levels in humans has gone down quite drastically, no one wants to take shit from anybody or carry excess baggage for them. Anger is a burden one has to deal with at the grass root level. Mediation will surely help one focus on eliminating the problem.
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Radhika,
You are absolutely right!
2 Stars
Asmita
Shimla, India
HAH!! For anyone who has seen the movie Anger management, this post must be an absolute riot!

But I guess like most human problems, this one too unfortunately doesn’t have a fool-proof universal solution.

I guess dealing with anger too is a very individualistic thing and the solutions may differ from person to the next angry person.
1 Stars
Vincent Van Ross
New Delhi, India
Yes, it is...Asmita.
1 Stars
Okay...I seldom get angry. I mean I think I can control my anger very well, rather I end up with just a little bit of over-control. I don’t get angry in situations where many people think it is necessary. I have got comments from many people that I am emotionless. Even if an elephant is standing on my foot deliberately, I don’t get angry. I don’t think it is normal. I want to be normal. Any remedies for my problem??
1 Stars
Oscar
Oaxaca, Mexico
I don’t think it’s necessarily bad, but you seem maybe to be concerned. Have you EVER gotten angry? REALLY truely angry...if so..WHY? Much of our anger has to do with our individual passions, fears, etc...

I get VERY ANGRY at abusive people. I don’t always express it, but I can feel the burning in my soul when I see one abusing another (not even physically)..I’m talikng about people verbally abusing, belittling, demeaning another. I don’t like harsh nor fancy words spoken with intent to intimidate another or make them feel their opinion is invalid, or worthless.

Over time I have learned to control my temper, but not the ”burning” I feel..I wish at times I could BE MORE LIKE YOU, mellow, tranquil.
(Global Perspectives)
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